Revolutionary Rants

Well, it is back. Again. Yes, indeed, Big Brother has yet again returned, for its eighth UK run. I must admit I watched The Apprentice*… Things have got that bad… But hey, somehow it always ends up dragging you back in (apart from the Cameron-the-Scottish-guy-who-went-to-South-Africa (and was a virgin) year). I am quite pleased with the twist - an all female house - although most people seem pissed off about it. I think it needed a kick up the arse after last year and after the infamous Celebrity addition early this year. Plus we get rid of the possibility of tw*ts like whatshisname who won the series before last and had Craig in love with him. Or, even worse, a Maxwell or Shezza type.

However, it is likely men will follow: one on Friday and no doubt more there after…

OK, anyway, I usually do a run down of my first impressions on the housemates, so why stop now?

Carole - I think she’s great, but I expect she’ll piss off the younger viewers who want botoxed and brainless bitch fights rather than anti-war protesting.

Laura - Beth Ditto wannabe, but then again, who wouldn’t want to be the lovely Beth? She seems nice and bubbly but I think she could be a chatter-box who will annoy.

Amanda and Sam - waste of oxygen. Kill them now.

Chanelle - Anyone who wants to be Victoria Beckham should be sectioned not promoted…

Charley - Gh-ast-lay. This wannabe will be out on her arse in a week or two.

Emily - Known to a friend. Drama student. That’s all that needs to be said, really, innit?

Lesley - What is she doing in there? She’ll be out, escaping through the diary room a la Big Ken no doubt.

Tracey - Not so much “just Trace” as just a Pete wannabe?

Nicky - Seems sweet, probably boring.

Shabnam - Deffo boring.

* I won’t comment on Apprentice because I would imagine a lot of people tuned in to BB and plan to catch up with S’Alan with the Tuesday repeat next week.